When I read this, I literally laughed out loud. What can you do with the nutty happenings in conference expansion except just have some fun with it. The Internet gem Adventures of the Big 12 : Twelve Angry Men from BringontheCats.com got me thinking what's going on behind closed doors in the ACC? I'm hoping I can do the original article justice.
If you haven't heard the Big 12 is just about dead. Nebraska appears to be headed to the Big 10. Now the dominoes fall.
North Carolina: We've called this emergency meeting to announce that Greensboro, NC will be future sight for all ACC basketball tournaments. oh wait I got the wrong notes. Gimme a minute...
Duke: (whispers to himself) jeez North Carolina is such a moron
North Carolina: Ok I'm ready we need to talk about conference expansion and how it affects the ACC basketball tournament, I mean this conference and its teams
(Boston College walks in)
Boston College: Sorry I'm late, it's hell catching catching that flight from Boston to Charlotte then I got drive to Durham or Chapel Hill. Where are we again? Can't we ever have these meetings up north?
North Carolina: (whispers to Duke) You'd think BC would get the picture. We send them out west every bowl season.
Clemson: Bring back Danny Ford! Sorry everyone just had a flashback.
North Carolina: Can we get back to business?
Wake Forest: May I speak?
North Carolina: No!
Wake Forest: Please?
North Carolina, Duke, NC State: No!!
North Carolina: Ok who's in and who's out?
Duke: In, and is everyone aware that I just won the 2010 National Basketball Championship? Mike Krzyzewski 4 Roy Williams 2.
North Carolina: (whispers to himself) I hate that guy
NC State: In!
North Carolina: I'm in too!
Wake Forest: In!
North Carolina: That's four in's so far. NC State are you writing all this down?
NC State: Yes sir!
North Carolina: Maryland stop picking your nose, in or out?
Maryland: I dunno
North Carolina: (rolls eyes) 4 in 1 I don't know
Virginia: I am required by Virginia state law to take Virginia Tech wherever I go and right now I'm in
Virginia Tech: I am required by Virginia state law to take Virginia wherever I go and I'm out.
Virginia: In!
Virginia Tech: Out!
Virginia: In!
Virginia Tech and Virginia fall to the floor wrestling
North Carolina: NC State go break those two up.
NC State: Yes Sir!
Clemson: Yes we should fire Dabo Swinney and Bring back Danny Ford!!
North Carolina: What are you talking about Clemson?
Clemson: (checks cell phone for message from SEC, there is none) I'm in, but the SEC is gonna call. I just know it and then I'm out of this stupid basketball conference!
Phone Rings
North Carolina: Hey NC State put that call on speaker phone.
NC State: Yes Sir!
Syracuse: Hi Guys any spots available?
North Carolina: Yes you can take Wake Forest's spot Syracuse.
Wake Forest: Hello! I'm sitting right here! You don't have to get rid of a team.
North Carolina: Did you say something Wake Forest? Syracuse We'll call you back.
Jim Swofford walks in
Jim Swofford: Hi guys I have an idea where to hold the ACC championship game. Toronto, Canada! Think of the fans! I got another one! Wait... Wait... Let's invite Wyoming to the ACC! We would own the Cheyenne TV Market! Wait I got another one!!!
North Carolina: Get out Jim!
Jim Swofford leaves skipping, while humming the tune "I'm a little teapot short and spout"
North Carolina: Florida State, Miami, Georgia Tech?
Duke: Remember everyone please use a coaster with your drinks. If you don't it will leave a ring. (Glares at Maryland, pauses) A Championship ring! (laughs maniacally at North Carolina)
Clemson: Bring back Danny!
North Carolina: Shutup for gawd sakes Clemson about Danny Ford!!
Clemson: (Thought Bubble) Danny Ford would know what to do.
Georgia Tech: 3.14159265358979323846264338... that's lots of numbers... 3.1415926535.... definitely lots of numbers... 3.14159... 12*12 = 144... the cosine of the angle...
Miami: Not again! Georgia Tech snap out of it!! Someone find him a female!!
Maryland: Me have to pee pee... Will someone be friends wif me? I a lonely turtle. Me no have a natural rival. (sobs quietly)
Wake Forest: Can I speak?
Everyone: No!!!!!
Clemson: Bring back Danny!!
Florida State: (whispering on cell phone) Yea yea no problem Miami's good, Clemson just needs you to call, Georgia Tech? He'll be fine in minute.
North Carolina: Who are you talking to Florida State?
Florida State: ...Just make the check out to F-L-O-R... Um nobody I'm in.
Miami: Have you all seen my documentary It's all about the U on ESPN?
North Carolina: Yes Miami we've all seen it... In or out.
Miami: It's all about the U... It's all about the U... It's all about the U.
Wake Forest: Can I speak now?????
North Carolina: What Wake Forest?
Wake Forest: Why don't we just form a super 24 team conference with the SEC?
Florida State: (whispering on the cell phone) Hey you might want to hear this.
